A goofy horror comedy that boasts some weirdly insane set pieces and a lot of lighthearted fun, Blood Diner is the vegetarian cannibalism movie I never knew I needed (but definitely do now). It’s a film I’ve heard about for a long time, but just never found the opportunity to rent, which is why I’m happy to see it resurrected in HD by Lionsgate as part of their new Vestron Video Collector’s Series. It may not be an experience for everyone, but considering my absolute love for balls-out, unabashedly weird horror comedies from the 1980s (like The Stuff or Saturday the 14th Strikes Back), Blood Diner is the perfect Blood Feast sequel we never officially got, and I had a blast with it.
Blood Diner’s story is anything but simple, so I’ll do my best here. The film opens with two kids, Michael and George Tutman, playing innocently enough when their crazy Uncle Anwar (Drew Godderis) bursts in, bloody meat cleaver in hand, and tells his loyal nephews some gibberish about being in trouble before handing them a priceless amulet with the promise of his return one day. But Anwar doesn’t have much of a chance once he’s surrounded by police and gunned down mercilessly. Flash forward a few decades to catch up with the grown-up versions of Michael (Rick Burks) and George (Carl Crew) as they make a name for themselves as purveyors of vegetarian cuisine in Los Angeles, although their menu actually happens to contain human flesh.
The duo dig up their deceased uncle one day, reviving his brain (and eyes, oddly enough) and keep them in a floating jar à la The Man With Two Brains so that he can help them prepare for their ritualistic blood-soaked feast where they hope to resurrect the goddess Sheetar and bring chaos into their world. But as their sacrifices begin to leave a bloody trail over the Los Angeles area, the cops aren’t too far behind as they try to make sense of the killings and stop whoever is behind them once and for all.
While I wouldn’t dare call it one of the more intelligent horror movies of its time, I couldn’t help but fall head over heels for Blood Diner, a movie that fully embraces its goofball intentions and cuts loose with all kinds of trashtastic wackiness from beginning to end. The film’s director, Jackie Kong, gives cult cinema fans pretty much everything they could hope to see in a film of this caliber: lots of gore, nudity, virgin sacrifices, a few musical numbers, and even a wrestling match (featuring a wrestler by the name of Jimmy Hitler, which still seems a bit outrageous even after almost 30 years).
The real highlights for me, though, are the practical effects, especially once we meet the resurrected Sheetar, who has an impressive gaping mouth covering her entire middle section that looks like a design you’d see in a film that had ten times the budget of Blood Diner. I’m also a big fan of how they pulled off the floating brain and eyeballs effect, too, and I tip my hat to those involved who made so much possible with not a ton of resources.
Blood Diner’s pacing and tone are all over the place, but the story never stops to spin its wheels, and I was immensely entertained throughout my first viewing. Both Burks and Crew are weirdly likeable in Blood Diner, too, and they hit all the right comedic notes with their frenzied goofball approach (I also spent much of the movie thinking to myself, “Man, the guy playing Michael looks like a young Bill Paxton”), as they move one from one absurd set piece to the next. I don’t know if it’ll necessarily win over more serious-minded horror fans, but as someone who loves unusual horror comedies from that era, I was digging into the menu of absurdity that Blood Diner serves up.
As far as the Blu-ray presentation of the film goes, while I don’t have anything to compare it to since this is my first viewing, I can say that this HD transfer for Blood Diner looks clean and vivid, with only a few of the night scenes having some grain issues. I haven’t had a chance to go back through and watch Blood Diner with the full director’s commentary yet, but I did get to check out about 40% of it, and Kong does an excellent job providing interesting facts and anecdotes—like how her daughter played the younger version of Michael in the beginning—while still getting into some of the technical aspects of making the film. Her explanation of the nude aerobics scene is also rather interesting, and it feels like that moment in the film might have helped inspire Point Break in some way, as a group of women are gunned down by a madman wearing a Ronald Reagan mask.
The Collector’s Edition has a bevvy of special featurettes as well, which is where I learned that Blood Diner was initially conceived as a sequel to Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Blood Feast. For fans of this film, this release pretty much includes everything you could possibly want and more. There are so many different interviews, and the disc allows you to watch all the featurettes back-to-back, making it feel like you’re viewing your own Blood Diner documentary. While I don’t know if I’d recommend it as a blind buy for most horror fans, anyone with a penchant for weird and unexpected horror comedies should enjoy this, and longtime fans will absolutely want to make sure they add this Blu-ray to their home entertainment collection.
Movie Score: 3.5/5, Disc Rating: 4.5/5
Heather A. Wixson was born and raised in the Chicago suburbs, until she followed her dreams and moved to Los Angeles in 2009. A 14-year veteran in the world of horror entertainment journalism, Wixson fell in love with genre films at a very early age, and has spent more than a decade as a writer and supporter of preserving the history of horror and science fiction cinema. Throughout her career, Wixson has contributed to several notable websites, including Fangoria, Dread Central, Terror Tube, and FEARnet, and she currently serves as the Managing Editor for Daily Dead, which has been her home since 2013. She's also written for both Fangoria Magazine & ReMind Magazine, and her latest book project, Monsters, Makeup & Effects: Volume One will be released on October 20, 2021.
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