Online dating is a hellscape. That's about the only thing F Marry Kill gets right. Laura Murphy's true-crime-obsessed thriller exploits the very real perils of trusting profile pictures and text prompts enough for in-person interactions — from a bubblegum-gossip perspective? Writers Meghan Brown, Ivan Diaz, and Dan Scheinkman turn dating games into a paranoid loop of podcast feedback where one woman's "rebound" period could end in death, only to waste all that with an atrocious finale. A shaky start requires an impeccable dismount, yet F Marry Kill crumbles like the Final Destination 5 gymnast.
Lucy Hale stars as newly thirty-year-old Eva, who hasn't dated since getting dumped by her longtime partner eight months prior. In an act of reclamation fueled by her ex's engagement, Eva downloads a knockoff Tinder and starts getting "smooch" requests left and right. The problem? Eva's plunge back into Boulder, Colorado's dating scene overlaps with an ongoing app-related murder spree dubbed the "Swipe Right Killer." Three gentlemen enter into Eva's romantic rotation, but as the serial slasher keeps striking, Eva starts to fear her quirky trifecta of suitors could include the man of her nightmares.
F Marry Kill is billed as a comedic thriller, but Murphy's direction doesn't favor a fair subgenre split. Eva's failed dates in public parks or nosy helicopter sisters are played for laughs, as well as all the relatable app dating gags (based around the popular barroom game "Fuck Marry Kill"). Even when superfine chef Mitch (Brendan Morgan), wealthy veterinarian Kyle (Jedidiah Goodacre), and aspiring forensic tech Norman (Samer Salem) cause Eva to believe they could be the killer, it's still not chilling. Buzzfeed Studios doesn't have a glistening track record for horror/thrillers (Dear David), and F Marry Kill continues to undersell fearful excitement — especially considering where the psycho-criminal investigation leads.
What's frustrating is I genuinely chuckled as Eva stumbles through clunky dating motions, flipping the script on gender dynamics. Hale's portrayal of a sloppy single lady bedding hunks and juggling multiple prospects cuts to the heart of online dating pitfalls, and the actress owns her character's exploratory bubbliness. Eva's nervous banter as she giddily kicks Mitch out of bed or reacts to all-time worst date scenarios hits close to home (in ways I wish weren't valid). Humor exists, Eva gets sexy and saucy on her terms, and there's a sustainable revamp on typical romantic comedy behaviors. Hale's a charming lovesick sleuth in the role — the rest isn't her fault.
For all the ways F Marry Kill scrubs away rom-com inequality, its third act is an abysmal switcheroo that eradicates any goodwill. We won't cover spoiler territory in-depth, but F Marry Kill picks the most flawed, unthoughtfully narrative-changing, and least fulfilling way to conclude. Eva's independence and commentary buck against patriarchal representations and spotlight "Nice Guy" syndrome that's led to countless outed abusers, but the film's ending ruins all that groundwork. Frankly, it's one of my least favorite finishes of the year. You couldn't choose a more detrimental wrap-up in a movie that already avoids anything remotely scary and roasts overused templates. It's a hail mary that doesn't even make it into the air — the quarterback slips, fumbles, and is injured during the play.
It's a shame that F Marry Kill doesn't contemplate its disastrous exit, damaging critical components that uphold a much better film before the fall. Murphy's experience helming television specials and series leads to a sitcom feel, hence that softer approach, despite letting a podcast named "Mark My Murder" direct storytelling traffic. Writers care about laughs above everything else, which leads to a dumbfounding final few minutes that completely shoves one character aside for reasons I'll never understand. F Marry Kill is a decent enough social satire until it's not, and then things go from bad to horrendous, just like how any date can sink without warning. You're just stuck, fidgeting until you find your way out, much like how you'll feel during this film's so-bad-it-retroactively-makes-everything-worse climax.
Movie Score: 2/5
Matt Donato is a Los Angeles-based film critic currently published on SlashFilm, Fangoria, Bloody Disgusting, and anywhere else he’s allowed to spread the gospel of Demon Wind. He is also a member of the Critics Choice Association. Definitely don’t feed him after midnight.
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