While slashers never vanished, seeing a title like Heart Eyes nudge the subgenre toward revived popularity warms my soul. Josh Ruben's Valentine's Day massacre stands proudly alongside its holiday horror brethren, but it's not a straightforward hack-’em-up like My Bloody Valentine (original and remake) or Valentine. Writers Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, and Michael Kennedy pen an inviting romantic comedy and a full-bore V-Day slasher in equal parts. It's the perfect date night movie for horror fans who like their love stories drenched in bloody slop — a best of both worlds that protects Cupid's bewitchery from a psycho killer.
Olivia Holt stars as Ally, a Seattle marketing employee at a jewelry company dealing poorly with her last breakup. Mason Gooding plays Jay, a freelance marketing guru who swoops in when Ally botches a morbid "Till Death" campaign. Jay's a corporate "Prince Charming," sparks fly over brief coffee shop flirtations, but Ally's current aversion to dating stymies Jay's advances. That's probably for the better since the "Heart Eyes Killer" has started murdering Seattle couples celebrating Valentine's Day. Ally and Jay are safe as platonic co-workers until a fake smooch in front of Ally's thriving ex-boyfriend locks them in HEK's crossbow hairs.
Ruben's juggling laughs, screams, and anti-Hallmark cheese without selling any aspect short. The screenplay roasts Hollywoodized tropes while HEK brings a slasher's menace, turning first-date giggles into white-knuckle survival teamups. Ally and Jay grow closer while dodging arrows and saving each other's lives, with healthy doses of cynicism playing against traditional cutesy doe-eyes. Holt's standoffish and defiant performance contrasts stupendously against Gooding's unfairly charismatic "Mr. Right," deriving humor from the fact that she's resisting any other single woman's dream partner.
Amidst the will they, won't they of Ally and Jay's fleeing from HEK is a capital-S slasher that executes with precision. Scream flows through Heart Eye's DNA, from a satirical cold open that slaughters an influencer-douchy couple's staged proposal to countless Ghostface influences. You can't have a Valentine's Day slasher without carved-out hearts, but the film's dedication to holiday theming doesn't stop there. The killer's custom mask with heart-shaped eye holes doubles as goggles that use "HEK Vision" — red-tinted night vision — because the writers relish their February staples. There's an attention to detail most prominent as HEK spills insides as he-or-she murders lovebirds in excruciatingly grotesque fashions. From wineries to botanical gardens, environments supply ruthless tools of death that deliver graphic, gory kills lathered in glorious crimson.
A pleasant Scream ensemble vibe fills Heart Eyes with playful red herrings. Devon Sawa and Jordana Brewster respectfully play Detectives Hobbs and Shaw (lol), hamming their aggressive cop (Hobbs) and vaguely horny good cop (Shaw) roles. Michaela Watkins jokily oversells as Ally's cutthroat boss, letting the comedian test out some scathing boardroom zingers. Then there's Gigi Zumbado's chatty sugar-daddy candy and Ally's best friend, who carries herself with an unstable Sex and the City flare. The host of personalities and more unlisted keep Ally and Jay guessing, but more importantly, performances embellish the film's desire to entertain.
Heart Eyes, while drop-dead dangerous, still manages to be consistently funny. Holt and Gooding are at their best when Ally holds Jay at arm's length, leading to rom-com awkwardness, but it's even better when Ally's relationship hesitations come forward while HEK's hot on their heels. As Ally navigates her codependency issues, she's forced to intimately trust that Jay's not the Heart Eyes Killer — a recipe for hilarity. Then there are the goofier meta jokes, like creator cameos, dialogue only using popular romantic comedy movie titles, or gallows humor as HEK's weapons interrupt Lifetime moments. Not to mention, the film's kill scenes go for broke in a no-holds-barred way that'll have audiences howling with glee and disgust.
Most impressively, Ruben's command over imagery and Stephen Murphy's crisp cinematography translate horror's native language. Production design goes a long way, whether dingy and powerless police station backrooms are lit with flickering fluorescent lights or dozens of wax candles illuminate an abandoned cathedral. As Ally and Jay lead HEK to a drive-in movie theater littered with cuddling bodies begging for a serial killer's blade, it feels like a Wes Craven movie spilled into a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. Ruben understands the voyeuristic camerawork of slashers and furnishes more decadent backdrops than run-of-the-mill locations, imbuing his production with a keener individuality versus twenty other lookalike genre templates.
No matter how you judge Heart Eyes, prepare to be smitten. As a feel-good comedy about unexpected partners, Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding steam up the screen. As a serial slashing nightmare, the Heart Eyes Killer cements himself as a villain worth fearing. Josh Ruben leaves his mark on the holiday horror scene with a standout Valentine's Day entry — a nasty, nostalgic, yet softly tender slasher with a serrated edge.
Movie Score: 4/5
Matt Donato is a Los Angeles-based film critic currently published on SlashFilm, Fangoria, Bloody Disgusting, and anywhere else he’s allowed to spread the gospel of Demon Wind. He is also a member of the Critics Choice Association. Definitely don’t feed him after midnight.
Daily Dead's Official Podcast! Daily Dead's Official Podcast!
